AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH

I am in the process of climbing an extraordinary mountain...not a literal one at the moment, but one that is helping me climb out of this "shell" that I have been in bondage to my whole life! It's a daily climb.

I have been switching my workouts up a little bit since the beginning of the new year and will continue to do so as I start to feel less fatigued or bored with what I am continually doing.

Monday, Wednesday and Friday I spend the first 40 minutes on the elliptical and then the last 20 minutes I have been working on a 5K training program that Tara Costa sent me.  It is a "conditioning" program which will help me eventually be running A LOT more that I presently am.  I have been climbing HUGE mountains (or obstacles) with this already.    I start at a steady 3.5  for 90 seconds walking then run for 60 seconds at a 5.0.  Then Walk again back at 3.5 for another 90 seconds then run at a 5.5. Go back to the 3.5 and go up on the running minute sprints by .5 every time.  I do this for 20 minutes 3 times a week for this week.  I have actually enjoyed it and I feel so fulfilled and tired when 6am comes.  Then I hop in the shower and head off to work.

On M, W, F at nights right now I just put in an hour on circuit training.. Usually 30 minutes elliptical, 15 minutes bike, 15 min treadmill.  I am going to find some evening classes to take to change this up so I don't get bored of my small condo gym... (I will admit it is actually pretty ghetto, but it calls my name if I am home and that is what I need!)

Tuesday is my Biggest Loser, last chance workout..which is funny cause I don't weigh-in that night or the next, but it works so... I will let it!
I stay for 2 straight hours on Tuesday nights (no AM workout) and when I leave, I have to practically mop every machine in the place of my nasty sweat.   I made a choice when I moved into my condo that I was NOT going to get cable.  It was the BEST choice I made FOR MY LIFE!!  Now If I want to watch a show (Biggest Loser or Celebrity Wife Swap as an example) I have to go to the GYM!  It works!  And 95% of the time I am the only one there and don't have to beg for the remote :)  On Tuesday I do a lot of Circuits on the weights mixed in with the elliptical.

Thursdays, at my 5am morning workout I do The Biggest Loser Resort Mountain class. I will tell you this was my LEAST favorite class and the reason why is because I knew how HARD it was and I would PSYCH myself out that I couldn't make it to the top of the "mountain".  What I forgot to focus on, is when you get there, it is SOOO rewarding!  Now I push myself to do it time and time again.  Because Thursday mornings has proven to be one or my most challenging mornings for pushing myself I have chosen this day as the day to CLIMB THAT MOUNTAIN and it has worked well.

Here is a video of how "mountain works".  You really should try it, you will be surprised how you push yourself to get to the top.  Great way to FUEL your day, knowing you accomplished a hard thing.

Thursday evenings I have been doing a switch between elliptical, stationary bike and weights. 

Saturday's (as long as the weather lasts here in AZ) will become my hiking/outdoor day.  I want to enjoy Arizona more and see things I have never seen.  I also don't just want to sleep all day (which I have been doing).  I want to keep a routine so that I can get ALL the things done I need to for the next week (Shopping, food prep, laundry etc).

Sunday's is my day of rest both for religious purposes and for exercise purposes...oh how I love you Sunday! :)

Here is a real life picture of me after one of my mountain classes I did for myself..It is a serious workout!

I think it is important to remind myself of the "mountains" I am climbing in my workouts right now as well as reference it later as I change things up as well, to see how hard I worked to get to my goals.  

This is a lifelong journey.  One of much sweat and tears.  I love that I can feel my heart conditioning as I climb through this journey.  My breaths are smoother, my moves more consistent. I am making progress each and EVERY day!

As cliche as it is, I wanted to share the words of the song The Climb by Miley Cyrus... I feel it every day when I hit my feet at 5am. I use it to propel me through my first one hour workout of the day.
Here are the words so you can see how much it applies to MY journey:

I can almost see it

that dream I'm dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying "You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking (in myself)

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose (weight)
Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb...

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, MEG

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith.. (in your journey, in yourself)

I work on believing in this dream, this journey everyday while pushing all the negative talk that I have told myself all these years out of the way.  I AM worth this!  I can do this!  The mountains will start feeling smaller and smaller, all I have to do is...

 KEEP CLIMBING!

IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN, YOU PLAN TO FAIL

This picture and caption PERFECTLY depict how I feel today.  For those of you who haven't guessed it yet, I am not perfect.  I am a normal, overweight since childhood, girl trying to overcome a lifetime of bad eating choices and sometimes, I fall short!  Today was one of those sometimes.

I have the appropriate tools.  I have been given such amazing opportunities and MOST OF THE TIME live up to them, yet sometimes I have a temporary lapse in judgement, where the IDIOT comes out and takes all my goals for that day and puts them on vacation. Today was one of those days, a day I will never be proud of.

Today I freaked myself out by a choice I made.  And after all was said and done, I spent the rest of the day beating myself up about it.  Instead of moving on, going forward and recommitting to NEVER let that happen again!  Why do we do that to ourselves?  Why can't we move on instead of keep torturing your already weak self.  I think the reason for me is that I KNOW I CAN DO HARD THINGS, and yet I showed myself today how weak I still am.

Let me explain my dilemma. And for those of you who think I am "AMAZING" you might reconsider after the truth be told.

I have been VERY ill since Friday.  I have been pushing through migraine after migraine and stomach aches after stomach aches until I just broke down yesterday and couldn't push anymore.. I was hurting and exhausted.  I came home from work at 6pm and collapsed on my bed asleep for nearly 3 hours and slept hard.  I stayed in my bed the rest of the night, no dinner, no workout...I was too sick to even move.

I woke at 6am this morning and knew I was not going to make it out of my bed, let alone to work. I texted my bosses and waited for a response.  They suggested that I try to sleep it off and check in at noon, so I went back to sleep.  I set my alarm for 11:45am, woke up a bit to see if I felt any better, I did not.  I told them I was sorry but I needed to go to a doctor.  I HATE GOING TO THE DOCTOR!  I don't know why it trips me out so much, but I just absolutely hate it!

That decision made me have to leave my bed to get on the computer and look up a doctor that my insurance accepts (I have lived here over 2 yrs and other than the dentist and chiropractor, i have never been to a doctor). Called a few local friends and tracked down an office that has plenty of family practice doctors to help me out and got an appointment.

After booking my doctor I realized that I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours and I was so hungry my other part of my tummy hurt. I was tired, I was weak and I didn't want to make anything (or so I told myself) and the next thing I knew I had a medium pizza delivered to my door.  I paid the driver the $9.38, (they said they don't normally deliver under $20 but they had someone else in my complex just order so they would make an exception...oh how convenient, right?!) shut the door and got back on my couch, under my cuddle blanket and started to eat this pepperoni, pineapple and tomato pizza (with no cheese.. not a big cheese fan on pizza's). I am ashamed to admit that it wasn't till I got to piece FOUR and started feeling OVER FULL that I became a "conscious eater" and said to myself, WAIT A MINUTE, what just happened here?! SIDE NOTE: I will be honest with you, NEVER in my 33 yrs of life have I EVER ordered a pizza to my house all for myself...EVER!  This was the moment I FREAKED!!  What was I doing?!  What was I thinking?!  WHAT AM I EATING?! I picked up the pizza and walked it and the box to the dumpster outside.  I then proceeded to mentally beat myself up for the rest of the day!

Now don't get me wrong here, I haven't sworn off pizza for the rest of my life.  Although pizza wouldn't be my first choice in food to indulge in usually, if I were planning to eat pizza I would save up my 10% (I have talked here before about The Biggest Loser Resort 90/10 plan..90% of the time you eat on target 10% or 2 meals a week for me you can have an indulgence) and have my pizza as a planned splurge.  But this was NOT in the plan, this was very UNPLANNED and very unconscious and that is what scared me!

After a couple hours I tried to move on, move past and go about my planned appointment hoping this would all go away.

I went to the doctor. We talked about how sick I have been feeling, what my symptoms are etc.  After doing a few tests on me and checking my stats etc he determined that I was severely dehydrated!  I was shocked.  We talked about my exercise and how I had come home from the resort and then continued 2 hours a day pretty consistently and he was then pretty sure of it.  So I was given some migraine medicine so I could function and assigned to come back on Saturday (after drinking OODLES of fluids) and take a hydration test and do a series of labs and he would determine if I needed to go get an IV or not. 

On my way home from the doctor it had STILL not gone away so I decided to come clean with my battle buddy Joni and tell her what I did.  It felt good for a moment and she didn't act as though she thought it were too big of deal.  Then I spent 2 hours pacing the floor of the grocery store waiting for my prescription.  I was walking and looking at foods, sugar contents, sodium content etc.  As I was filling my cart with good options (like I usually do weekly) I was back at beating myself up for losing sight of what I know is most important for me, my journey, my life, MY HEALTH!

I still cannot understand what came over me this afternoon.  I REALLY am committed to this lifestyle, I am.  I am not looking to make excuses.  I thought that I trusted myself, my decisions and then I was side swiped.  I tend to have a really hard time making "good choices" in social situations, but there was NO social situation here...just me, myself and I.  I think this is really what upsets me, I want to trust my choices, especially ALONE.

So tonight as I lay in bed, still beating myself up.. I decided to reach out to a couple other friends along the way.  Heather and Bri, you helped me more than you know!!!  Thank you for listening, not judging me and understanding the place where I was coming from.  Bri said to me, "If this were easy, I would be wearing a bikini right now!"  That made me smile. Then she said, "Funks are good for you. It shows you how much your health means to you!"

 I love my BLR family, My battle buddy, and all my friends who support this journey! 

Their wisdom and reassurance to me basically says this:

And tonight, I believed them..

I am strong enough!  I have enough courage to go forward and with the support I have, if I PLAN I have

NO ROOM FOR FAILURE!

So the rest of this evening I went back to the drawing board.  I restocked the cupboard where I go when I am too starving to make good choices on meals.  There I have almonds (in 100 calorie servings), Mint Chocolate Zone Bars, Wasa Crackers, Freeze Dried apples etc. Now when I feel that WEAK side come on, I can curb that hunger until I am confident I make the right choices again.  Its ALL about CHOICES!



And Still.. I Rise! NO EXCUSES!

I have been feeling very under the weather since Friday (right in time for vacation). At first when I started to come down with my cold, I thought, not me...not NOW! I LOVE the start of a new year. I love refocusing (even though I refocused when I went to BLR in November) I love challenging myself with goals and making lists and plans etc.

By late Friday night I knew that my normal preparations for my New Year might just be put on hold, I was sick..really sick. The first thing I wanted to do was just feel sorry for myself. To forget about my goals. To eat my way into a New Year coma (although I did use my 10% this weekend for sure, don't get me wrong!). I spent ALL of Saturday in bed or on the couch doing nothing but watching Netflix and chatting on Facebook/Twitter.

By New Year's Eve I was still feeling pretty bad, but I had made a commitment to a friend that I met through twitter that the two of us would work out ringing in the new year (even though we were states away from each other) I wasn't about to let her and myself down...I am LOYAL through and through.

At 9:30pm I pulled myself off my couch and got into my workout attire and started making my way to my gym at my Condo. I didn't feel any better what so ever, but I had changed my mind set, I was going to do this NO MATTER WHAT! Here is a picture of me at the gym that night. I looked and felt like death but I pushed myself hard!! I even ran and beat my personal best with THREE one minute sprints of 7.0 on the treadmill (I have to hold on to the front bar to do this..but I do it!)

When all was said and done, I felt pretty ill but my spirit felt MAGNIFICENT!

Sunday I woke up feeling just as awful as the previous day and I layed in bed to the VERY LAST MINUTE before I had to be at work. It was a chill day with the girls which I was sooo thankful for it helped to not have to go anywhere or do anything. Sunday is my rest day for workouts so I was fine with that!

Monday, I was SOOO sick. My stomach ached and felt in knots. My cough was out of control. I had the headache the size of Texas and my body felt like a train ran over me. I was just sick, that is all there was to it! Again I cancelled all my plans and went between my couch and my bed all day, it was all I could do. I was starting to have a REALLY BIG PITY PARTY for myself and then I saw this video from one of my EARTHLY heroes!

Thank You Maya Angelou for your wisdom! You always speak to my heart, you gave me the courage and the will to RISE this night and keep my commitments to those who are doing at least a mile a day challenge in January..so I hit the gym!

I put an hour in the gym at a very slow pace and a high incline on the treadmill, but I did it! I didn't make excuses, I listened to the wisdom of Maya and despite a difficult situation, I arose to do what I needed to do for me and the people counting on me!

How different would our lives be if on every situation we had this kind of attitude. That when life tries to get us down, people try to shut us down, our own brains try to put us down we would say, "And still, I rise" and go on with our own life journey and not let it get us down?! The world would be changed... I would be changed!

Today with the start of Biggest Loser Season 13 and their theme, "NO EXCUSES" my prayer is that I can continue to adopt this phrase, NO EXCUSES. That I won't allow ANYTHING to come in the way of the journey of health and well-being that I have been on for 2 years now. That I will be able to keep the mindset of Doctor Angelou, and RISE in any situation to achieve my fullest potential!

What have YOU done today, to make YOU feel proud?!

I HAVE DONE IT, I HAVE GONE AND LOST MY MIND!

I think my weekend sick has gotten to me. I just did the craziest thing... I texted my friend Heather in Sacramento (who said she would help me keep my New Years Resolution by participating with me in one of my FOUR 5k's) and asked if she would be interested in this Midway, Utah Race 5k that is on my Birthday, February 4th! She said, YES! 

Now, I am always up for an adventure and an adventure with a challenge is even a little more intriguing, but I think I have officially done it, I think that I have lost my mind!

Here is how the website explains this race I just committed too:

"The snow crunching under your running shoes, as you breathe in the crisp mountain air. You and your closest friends are racing (and sledding) your way over the groomed trail, conquering its several obstacles. Whether you are an elite athlete or a weekend warrior, this race is for you."

The first picture is the one I saw when I texted Heather ( I HEART sledding..and doesn't she look like she is having the time of her life?!) ...I should have looked at the rest...EEK!

Course is a 3.1 MILE, Military Style Obstacle Course with over 10+ obstacles.

Why did I think this was a good idea again? Someone remind me where I thought I was ready for a race of this sort? Maybe this Musinex has some chemical that is stopping the functioning of my brain!

HELP!

I am neither an "elite athlete nor a weekend warrior!" I am a fat girl in spandex still trying to loose this outer shell.. but you know what I do have?

I have...

heart, laughter, joy, the best support group and friends in the world, determination and...

I CAN DO HARD THINGS!

Okay, okay, maybe I just talked myself into it, although I do still think I have gone and lost my mind!

You are ALL invited to join me for my first HEALTHY Birthday Celebration...who's in?!

February 4th, 2012

Midway, Utah

(by Park City)

$40

As long as I am losing my mind...here is one of the 5k's I will ALSO do this year, just don't know which location yet! Thanks for loving me and reading about my crazy adventures if I don't make it through this!

I am ONE STEP closer to meeting my goals of four 5k's...but I have already stayed up past my 10:30pm bed time and thus broken another goal. Oh well, no work tomorrow, so it counts as a weekend, right?!

Courage to Finish What I've Started?! OH YEAH!

A New Year...New Possibilities...New Goals...NEW ME!

Believe in yourself. Trust the process. Change FOREVER.

Looking back on my year I've confirmed what I already knew, 2011 was sooo good to me!! I have no idea how this new year is going to top it... yet, I know it will and I am looking forward with anticipation for GREAT things to come!!

HIGHLIGHTS of 2011

• Caribbean Cruise with my Girls

• Twins First Birthday

• Baby Ellie Jane was Born, my niece

• Nephews and Niece and Joni's family came to visit (This is an ALL-TIME fav pic)

• Winning the Wholly Guacamole Battle Buddy contest with Joni.

• Biggest Loser Finale for Season 11 and finally meeting my FAVS!

• Cali trip with Jen, Ghetto and Joni

• One Week at Biggest Loser Resort Malibu

• Hiked Y Mountain

• Stadium of Fire

• Freedom Festival 5K with friends

• Les Miserables with my Mom, Auntie Kay and Cousin Val in Phoenix (Later this night, we found out that Grandpa wouldn't make it much longer...he passed early in the a.m.)

• Moving into a place of my own

• Working with raising money for BL9 Sam Poueu with the Wristband Campaign.

• Holli and kids came for a visit

• Home for Thanksgiving

• Two more weeks at Biggest Loser Resort Malibu

• A week with my Biggest Loser Buddies (PRICELESS)

• Amanda and Arthur came to visit in AZ (At different times. Arthur May, Amanda December)

I have been blessed more than I could EVER imagine. Thankful for a year full of many ups and only a few downs, although the downs were some pretty hard ones. I want to note two of those downs for the record. I want to remember that even though some days this year felt extraordinarily dark, most days were light and very blessed.

The darkest day of 2011 would be the passing of my Grandfather (who was more like a father to me).

I thought I was better prepared for his passing because he was so willing and ready to go, but it was very hard because I didn't say goodbye and strange to think that on the earth I wouldn't be with him again. I think of him so much. I miss hearing him breathe, hearing his teasings and just telling him what I have been up too. But the brightness of that situation comes because I KNOW I will see him again and he is not suffering as he was. That brings great peace and comfort to me as we move on to another year. We have passed all the firsts that are the hardest and if Grandma can do it cheerfully, SO CAN I!

Another hard time for me this year would be my move from Gilbert to Phoenix. I have truly the GREATEST friends in Gilbert.

Stephy is one of them :)

When I am with all of them, I feel like I am with family. I don't feel homesick, lonely or afraid. I thought I would come here (less than an hour away) and make friends just like them and it hasn't really happened for me. Going from four roommates to NO roommates and having no friends close by was a VERY lonely place. For months I struggled to find my place in Phoenix. After a few dark months in the hottest, most miserable time of year in Arizona I found a friend, her name is Rae and she is a RAY of sunlight in my life and has blessed me to not feel so isolated here all the time. (See, it doesn't stay dark forever!)

I am going to take ALL the things that I learned from in 2011 and turn them into positive energy moving through this new year! I have high hopes, dreams and goals. I have been doing a lot of thinking through this holiday time and think I have found some solutions to help me obtain and keep some of the goals that are most important to me. I am armed with AMAZING tools. A gym at my condo, supportive friends and family, information and knowledge from my stay at The Biggest Loser Resort that I am already applying in my life and most important, HARD WORK AND DEDICATION!

I have decided that in 2012 I am going to do the following not in ANY particular order. Some are one time check off's and bucket lists where others are things I will work on daily.

BUCKET LIST OF 2012:
Go to the Balloon Festival in New Mexico
See Disneyland at Christmas time
Visit Washington DC area
Freedom Festival 10K
Meet my BLR friends in Cali for BL13 Finale and a check in on our Journey's
Christmas in Utah

MIXTURE OF ALL MY GOALS: (I have a more detailed list of how I will accomplish that for myself)
Work towards getting a new car
Build my Paparazzi Jewelry Business
Get out of Debt
Lights out by 10:30pm (everyone knows this is going to be the HARDEST...but I Can Do Hard Things, right?!)
Volunteer for Make-A-Wish-Foundation
Find a social life haha
Four 5K's
Workout twice a day, 5 days a week
Loose 80lbs (20 lbs a quarter is my goal. First 20lbs will be by March) I know this is achievable that is why I chose that number!
Find and meet with a counselor who specializes in Childhood Obesity, work on past issues that are creeping into my NOW.
PAY IT FORWARD. Support, encourage, motivate and most importantly LOVE those trying to do similarly hard things.

Here you have it. It is written down. I am accountable and I will report on my progress on all these goals through out 2012. I WILL do these. You just wait and see!

My Motto for this year is going to continue, "I CAN DO HARD THINGS!"

My verse of STRENGTH comes from Ezra in the Old Testament.

Ezra 10:4 "Arise; for this matter belongeth unto thee: we also will be with thee: be of good courage, and do it."

I am going to do just this.. .I am going to ARISE. I am going to take ownership of my own life. I am going to TRUST THE PROCESS. I am going to DO IT!

BRING ON 2012...I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I'VE GOT!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!