Monday, March 12, 2012


As my friend Arty from Biggest Loser Season 11 would say, "I'm just keeping it 100!"
Truth Day 101

Have you ever found yourself caught in a PITY PARTY?!  The kind of pity party where it feels like everything in the world is against you?  Where you question WHY you had to be let down the way you were?

The last 2 weeks I have been letting those negative, defeating voices into my life.  I had an OLD injury caused by the stupidest thing you could ever think of creep up on me...

Yes, you read this right.  I injured my toe back in December by dropping a can of aerosol hairspray on it!  The day I did it I continued my workouts at BLR (hike, H20, Mountain) and then right after mountain (one class away from being done for the day) the pain became to much and I started crying and ended up at Urgent Care. 

At Urgent Care the doctor X-rayed my foot.  Found that I had a hairline fracture on the tip of my toe (nothing could be done about that) and then drilled a hole in the top of my toe to RELEASE the pressure the blood underneath caused.  I can't even tell you how GOOD it felt when they burnt a hole right on the top of my nail that day.  It definitely relieved pressure.

Just as I usually do, I carried on and continued to not let throbbing and soreness get me down. I was told it would just take "time" and so that was what I assumed was happening. 

Shortly after my birthday 5k, I started to notice more pressure and more pain in my toe area.  Doing my daily sprints on the treadmill became VERY painful and I noticed myself not pushing as hard during my workouts because the pain was getting intense.

One evening after working out, I came home and just sobbed.  I took off my shoe and sock and noticed something new.. my toe nail was lifted. (For those of you who don't like gory details, make sure to pass the first series of pictures I am about to post and don't read the rest until after those pictures. But please read on, cause the video I am going to share may REALLY inspire you!)

I freaked out when I realized that under my nail there was a "growth-like" mushy thing.  After the nail came off it was instant pins and needles pain.  I couldn't get any relief, I didn't know what to do and I am not going to lie, I was scared by the sight of it. After talking to several people and trying to weigh out all my options I headed to Urgent Care.  When I got there, they had just closed the doors for the night.  It was such a painful night of sleep and discomfort. 

I called into work the next morning (only 2nd time in 2 yrs) and asked to come in later.  I went to the doctor at 8am, he wouldn't touch it and sent me to a podiatrist.  The podiatrist freaked me out.  He had never seen anything like this before..really? A podiatrist?!  He was sure there was surgery in my future!  He sent me with his nurse for an Xray.  When he came back he said he was glad to see that it was a hematoma and not bone coming out of my toe. He gave me several shots in my toe, froze it with some hydrogen and began cutting away and then cauterizing my toe nail.  He told me to keep it clean, keep Lamisil on it and take pain meds for discomfort.  Also no working out till my toe was healed up and had no pain.

The stages of my toe (NOT FOR THE FAINT)

Today as I put on my Lamisil cream I realized something.. it didn't hurt..could it really be?!   I know it is ridiculous that I let something as small as an UGLY toe let my world stop.  Of course it didn't totally stop, just my exercise lacked and that has been all I've known for so long and is my main source to stress relief, I let it get to me.. WAY TO MUCH!

Why do I share all of this with you, and record it for me?  Because I don't think I am the only one that has let a small thing, a small set back, some pain, some emotional or family problems become a MOUNTAIN in our lives. We let it become so much  more detrimental than it needs to be, instead of facing it head on and "adjusting" your schedule to IT, we let "IT" take our schedule away from us! 

Now, I am going to be 2 weeks behind on my goals, have a lot of make up to get to where I was... and unfortunately I can't get that time back.  But I DO plan on moving forward and that is what matters most at this point!

Tonight as I was planning out what I wanted to do to get back in the swing of things this week, I decided to turn on Biggest Loser Season 7 (back when Biggest Loser used to REALLY inspire us). Sione Fa is my BOY and seriously it was MEANT TO BE that I re-watched this episode tonight!! 

ANYONE that needs to be inspired, PLEASE watch this! 
 I recorded it with my phone cause I wanted you all to see it! 

How many times have we let ourselves become a victim to the "I CAN'T FLU?" 

I know, I have. This is a battle I REFUSE to lose again.  The only losing I am going to be doing for now on is inches and pounds!  Thank you Sione Fa for your words on and off the show! 
This clip is LIFE!  I love it! 

That's what I started out to do, and that is what I am GOING TO DO!

I want to give a special shout out to my sweet Biggest Loser family.  There are so many people I have met through the Biggest Loser Resort as well as contestants who I can now call friends.  You have inspired me, believed in me, pushed me, followed up with me and continue to be my friends. 

There are also MANY others of my friends/family that INSPIRE me, encourage me, cheer me on and REALLY just love me through all my follies, successes and trials and to ALL of you I say thank you! 

Thank you to my Twitter and Facebook family as well.  Your posts sometimes give me the UMPH I need to get to the gym, I hope I can return the favor.

Bottom line:  I am doing this ALL for me and nothing else, but your words, comments and compliments ring through my head on days that I just want to RETREAT!